Blogs / Fiduciary Services

Enemy of the estate

Towards the end of every year (from about September), we often have a strong focus on Wills and Estate Planning. Both of these documents can be overwhelming because of their importance and scope. It’s easy to think that we put them off because of their complexity, but often it’s because it’s hard to visit the emotional space these legacy testaments evoke. The biggest enemy of our estate and legacy is not tax, legislation or costs; the biggest enemy is ourselves.

“Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” ― Nathaniel Branden

In a recent email from Seph Pennock of Positive Psychology, he wrote that self-acceptance affects virtually everything. Our relationship with ourselves profoundly shapes our daily experiences, which include how we make and spend our money.

If we don’t accept ourselves for who we are and feel we are only “enough” if we reach specific standards, we are setting ourselves up for a life of additional challenges. If our goal is to help others build kinder, more nurturing relationships, then we need to begin by working on ourselves first.

How we manage our financial plan is one way to communicate and engage with the people who mean the most to us with love and generosity.

Pennock suggests that we start by asking: To what extent are you a friend to yourself?

He says that self-acceptance is a complex construct that can be challenging to understand and work through. This question is simple, straightforward, and directly provides insight into the essence of self-acceptance: the relationship we have with ourselves.

It’s also often our first insight into noticing our self-critical thoughts, and when it comes to our money, job, home and lifestyle (and our legacy), it’s dangerously easy to become self-critical. Crafting a Will and an Estate Plan requires us to slow down and think about our life and legacy. If we’re overly critical, this can be very daunting.

This is why self-acceptance is a powerful practice in helping us defeat the thoughts that become actions, and the actions that keep us from living the life we want to live. We can actively choose healthier thoughts to develop habits that will make life a little easier to find our fit and follow our flow.

At SFP, we make this easier because we know you, value you, and want to protect you.

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